Why is my family crazy?

I love my family to death....I would do [almost] anything for them but why do people's personalities and cultural beliefs get in the way of relationships? Not only their own but their immediate relatives and children? Not only that but the way their relationships within immediate family members become involved having an effect on their relationships with extended family members? I'll hear about a specific event that happened some 15 years ago between AR and a friend regarding MP. AR was an adolescent at the time, therefore the person didn't entirely think about the effects of his action. But his action offended MP who then told some immediate family members who still to this day, can't stand AR. The worst problem (in my opinion) is that no one every confronted AR or MP or other fm (family members) and they still can't stand the poor guy.

Currently this same situation is occurring between other people in the family. Person A said/did something and Person C and D weren't happy and since culturally you're supposed to respect and elder and not confront them (at least publicly, it's called "harmony" in cultural psychology) the situation was never concluded. As a result, whenever they are all observed at a familial event, none of them regard the other's existence. Can we all please grow up?

The worst part is when certain people not only hold grudges but also get "offended" (exactly how offended I'm not sure) where if they're not officially invited to an event, they don't come. When I say "officially" I mean Person 1 calls Person 2, as opposed to Person 1 was asking Person 2's parents and asked them to extend the message. Seriously? [Sigh]